its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
