i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
this is an emotional support booty call
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
