His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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