thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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