I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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