she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize