turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
