I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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