She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
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You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
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She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child