No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
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i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
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What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.