But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
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i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
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Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife