I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize