I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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