I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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