This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
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he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
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Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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