I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
