My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
