maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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