His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
