And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
