im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
