I'll bet she douches with gravy.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
