If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
