i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
