Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
