Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
