I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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