he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize