I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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