lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
50% drunk capacity currently
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
