Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
