they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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