Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
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