ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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