He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
