My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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