So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize