god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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