Dual....:-)
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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