My nipple is on Facebook.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
