As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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