I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
