So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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