Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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