ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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