Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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