My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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