you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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