So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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