He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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