Jerry, you need to find god
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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