my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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