I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sorry about my life...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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