Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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