Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
