If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize