i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
