Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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