Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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