Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
