are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
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All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
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WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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