remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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