well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
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