doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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