I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
