I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
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i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
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Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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