i wish there were pregnant emoticons
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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