Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
