The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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